Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Kitamu Coffee

A new coffee shop opened in the Tinapple shopping center in Hilliard recently. There used to be another coffee shop there, but they recently went out of business. I think the lack of traffic had to do with that. The shop is hard to notice from the road because it is in a little shopping center that I regularly just drive past without looking at it.

The new shop is called Kitamu Coffee.The name, according to their Twitter (@kitamucoffee) means tasty, which is an incredibly fitting name. There coffee was very good, which is to be expected since they get their coffee from Stauf's. I was very excited to see they have a pumpkin pie latte.

The shop itself is very warm. The burnt orange, browns and olive(ish) greens keep it very earthy, but make it warm and inviting as well. The walls are decorated with different styles of art. From photographs to an impressionist painting, different local artists are represented. While that is nice, the art doesn't really unify the whole shop. However, they have only been open for a week now; maybe that will become more cohesive with time.

I went to Kitamu twice over the long weekend. On Saturday, when I was working on my Race and Ethnicity midterm I was a little disappointed. This was only at first, and because the customers at the shop were literally 7 years (at least) younger than me. They were running around like maniacs, but then again that is exactly what my friends did in middle school and early high school. Once they left the shop was much quieter and a lot more pleasant.

The staff are fantastic. I was talking with the owner, Mahmood, about my midterm and then when I went back today we talked about fall. I was saying that I love fall, because the pumpkin lattes are available, unlike the rest of the year. He told me that the Kitamu staff is considering keeping that as a year-round flavor. That means I could get a pumpkin latte in the middle of July if I wanted to. Very little makes me happier. :) One of the baristas, Harris, is also quite friendly.

On a whole, I am really excited for this new coffee shop to be opening here in Hilliard. We need a quality independent shop that can compete with Starbucks. I'm hoping the word will spread and this shop can flourish.

Coffee: ☺☺☺☺☺
Staff: ☺☺☺☺☺
Location: ☺☺☺
Decor: ☺☺☺☺
Overall: ☺☺☺☺

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Well, over the next two weekends my family is going to be moving. We didn't end up being able to buy the house. I'm really not ok with this. I don't want to leave my house. We have so many friends near by. I don't want to have to try and restart making relationships with the neighbors. I don't want to have to have a different room, or driveway. I don't want to move.

I don't think its fair. I feel like bad stuff always happens to my family. Every time I think we might be about to catch a break the rug is yanked out from under us and bad shit starts all over again! I'm starting to worry that there will never be an end to it. Is this going to follow me into my adult life as well? Am I going to die a lonely and bitter woman who never had a chance to feel comfortable in her surroundings or her own skin? When will it end?

I have such big hopes and plans, but it's hard to think that I will achieve any of the goals I have set in front of myself. I don't know how to beat it. Dad always tells me he wants me to do better than he did. I don't know how to. I feel like I'm trapped where I am. I will never move up the socio-economic ladder. Not just that, but I will never have the opportunities that I hope and pray are available to me. What do I do with that? How do I fix that? I didn't choose to have all of this thrust onto my shoulders.

I don't feel smart enough to do anything about my desire to be a professor. I don't think I will ever be at that point. Professor just know everything. I don't. No one should listen to me, I have no authority. I act like I know whats happening, but I don't really feel like I do. I feel like it's a fluke that I have gotten this far. Is that possible? Could it be a mistake that I have done well in school?

I feel like I have so many lies to try and fight. Lies like I'm not smart, I am not pretty, I am not worth people's time, I am weak. How can I beat these when I am so tired and I don't feel like many people tell me otherwise? Sometimes I just want to give in to the melancholy and let it consume me. What would be the problem with that? Maybe that is who I really am, maybe my life will be less disappointing if I don't think anything good will ever happen to me. Then I won't be let down.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Guilty Pleasure

I've discovered a "new" guilty pleasure. I use the word new loosely, since it's one I've had for quite sometime, but haven't really put a name to it. Said indulgence is found in hokey supernatural movies. We're talking movies like The Order, and Dogma. Tonight, I really wanted to watch one that I watched last year. It's called Ba'al: The Storm God. Yes, it is as wonderfully awful as it sounds. Well, they didn't have it and I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty bummed out. But instead I rented Dogma and a movie called Gabriel that is advertised as similar to Ba'al on some websites, so I figured it would be a safe bet. I'll know tomorrow after I watch it.

I think my favorite part about these kinds of movies (other than the obvious religious ties running through them) would be the tag lines. For example, the tag line of Gabriel is "Between Heaven and Hell lies the fate of mankind." Like, how epic is that!

Anyways, I really need to go to sleep. I have a pretty big day tomorrow. It's Family Weekend, meaning mom (and maybe dad?) are coming to visit for Senior Wine and Cheese. I'm really excited, so I need to catch some sleep. I'll update on the epicness that is Gabriel tomorrow. :)

Friday, September 10, 2010

In A Tight Spot

So, buying the house seems to have fallen through. We couldn't fix our credit score enough to get the loan to buy the house. I'm really worried about what that means for my family and myself. Mom emailed Pastor Paul at my church and asked if there was anyone who wanted to buy our house to rent to us for the next year until we can fix our credit and get the loan. We haven't heard back yet though. I'm really concerned that he's not going to help us. I don't think he likes me very much and I'm nervous that he will take that out on my family.

Last year when our church first started talking about leaving the ELCA I wrote him a letter detailing why I thought it was the wrong move. I did that in September and didn't hear back from him until like November. His letter back was pretty curt and didn't really seem pleasant. Now, I could very easily be reading into it emotions that aren't there and I acknowledge that possibility. However, when I stood up in our town hall meetings to discuss this issue he seemed to not be happy to see me. It could be something else. I'll be honest, I haven't dealt with him much before this, so it could just be his personality, but I don't know.

If he doesn't help us with the house because of me, I'm going to be so upset. I don't know how I will handle that. I'm not going to do anything stupid, but it's probably not going to be very productive either.

I feel like through all of this madness God and I have become pretty tight. But I still doubt that this will all work out. Like, I know in my head He is going to take care of my family and me, but in my heart I feel like I'm going to be let down. Why do I feel like this? I mean, He's God! He can do whatever the hell he wants. Maybe that's why it scares me. He can do what He wants. Like, maybe He wants my family to in essence be homeless. Maybe He want's me to suffer for some reason. I don't know, and that terrifies me. Does that make me a bad Christian? Probably...

Oh! So, I'm going on the Common Ground retreat tonight. I'm not staying over, because I have way too much work, but I'm going to go for a while. I'm really looking forward to it. I heard great things about the one from last year, and I'm hoping this will give me a chance to work somethings out with God.

Right now, I have a ton of homework and a headache that is rivaling a migraine. So I'm going to go to Un Mundo and work for a couple hours and drink some coffee and eat some lunch/dinner and hope everything works out.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Housing Update

Ok, so here is the latest on the house situation. We are going to try and buy it. Actually, Mom and Dad put in an offer yesterday. I guess as long as we get approval by the morgage company we are good to go.

In other news, I got a haircut today. It's a little shorter than I wanted but I know it will grow out to a good length in a couple weeks. So that's cool.

Ok, I'm off to bed. Night!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Too much to tell...

So, it's just over a week before I am able to move into the ministry house. But that is not the only move that I'm dealing with. My family found out that we have to find a new house. Our landlady has allowed our house to go into foreclosure. So we have to be out by the 11th and we really don't have a place to live yet. I'm really frustrated with this all. there is nothing my family can do to be able to keep living here and that totally sucks. I know in the end it will all work out, it always does, I would just really love for something to work out before we hit crunch time. I'm getting a little tired of the God induced ulcer that my life has a tendency to be.

However, I am so excited to get back to Witt. I miss it so much. With everything that has been going on here in Hilliard I really can't wait to get back to where my friends are. I feel like I have no break from it all.

I am loving my parent's Netflix subscription. I have been watching The Office like it's my job which is really funny because there are so many similarities between the two. You gotta love it.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

At it again!

So, we all know how bored I get and how I need little projects to keep me occupied. I have a new one I'm going to work on this summer.

I was talking with my friend Marsha about her organization, Amazing Gifts of Hope, fair trade and human trafficking. She was saying the organization's store is laid out so people can have parties and teach their friends about what many men, women and children around the world suffer through. The promote being aware of how our purchasing habits can effect others in the global community.

It was wonderful hearing her talk about this topic which has weighed so heavily on my heart for the last year. I was moved to do something. So, in true Kate fashion, I offered to pull together a concert to raise awareness. I'm hoping to do it for the end of July or beginning of August. I need to find some music artists to play, but I'm taking it one step as a time.

I'm excited to have another concert to plan. It's becoming one on my favorite things. I love music. I am so happy when something I love works together with my passions. People come to the concerts for the music and (I hope) leave with their eyes opened to the truly blessed life we have here in America. I am thankful that I am in this country of opportunity. I used to feel guilty that I have so much while others have so little. Now I realize I am here for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes. He knew I could use my resources to help people who are on the margins.

If you want to check out the Amazing Gifts of Hope store click here.
If you want to read what Marsha has to say, you can find that here.

Please, if you have a passion for something speak up. You will never know who shares that passion and what opportunities can arise from you teaming up with others.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Thinking of the Future

Well, I've been thinking about post graduation a lot. I have a couple of ideas. I'm not sure which to pursue.

1. Opening a coffee shop.
This has been a dream of mine for over a decade. I have been designing coffee shops as long as I have been drinking the lovely drink. Not just that, but I could make it a Fair Trade coffee shop. That way, I would be making money while improving the lives of people who are usually cheated. That is incredibly important to me. No matter what I end up doing in the long run, I want to help people.

2. Going to Grad School
This could be either seminary or normal grad school. I don't really know yet. Both sounds appealing for different reasons. I'm not going at discerning if I am being called somewhere, so I'm not sure about seminary. I am a logical thinker. I try not to go with my gut all the time. Because of that I am leaning towards normal grad school; probably at OSU so I can live at home and save money/help out.

3. Doing LVC/AmeriCorp
This can help me to pay for my loans and what not. Also, I would get some real life experience. I feel like this could be a really good chance for me to grow up. In some ways I feel like I am very grown up. In others I still feel like an infant. Plus, if I did the LVC program I could finally go to Seattle. I've always wanted to go there. I would also be living in a community house with my team. It would be a very neat to experience this.

4. The Peace Corps
When I was young I swore I would never want to go into the Peace Corps. But now I find that I was wrong. I really want to travel some day. I want to see the world. This seems like a good chance to do that. And I would be helping people.

At the end of my life I don't want to look back and see that I have accomplished nothing with my life. I want to have a family. I want to help people who need it. I have more than enough to give and still be comfortable. I have a long life ahead of me, I want to do something with it. I just need figure out what to do first.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I'm just sick of it...

I have never been a small girl. I've always been overweight. Even as a child I was one of the bigger girls in my class. But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of not really liking how I look and not feeling confident.

I think part of the reason I haven't done anything about the weight problem is because I don't want to get hurt in relationships. Guess what? That didn't work. I'm always getting hurt because I never have relationships progress beyond "just friends".

I'm done with that. I'm done not liking me. I'm done being lazy. I want to feel healthier. I don't want to have the health problems my dad has. Heart disease runs very deep in my family. So does cancer. I don't want to risk that.

All this to say, I'm hopefully going to actually do something about this. And because I respond to peer pressure I'm starting another blog. You can follow it here.

So, that's the deal. Hopefully I'll be in better shape in August and you all at school can see a difference. But we will see.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Whoa... where has the time gone? It's been over a month since I last posted and it's already summer break. I am now a senior at Wittenberg... which is crazy.

So much stuff has happened over the last month. I took part in the World's Largest Doughnut Hole Fight right before going to Heather's bridal shower. Steph and Matt got engaged. I decided I am going to do YKBS until I find a job. I've applied at like 10 places. I have been turned down at like 3 jobs.

I've moved back home and am going to be traveling back and forth between here and Springfield for work. It's going to make for a long summer, but I'm hoping it all works out. But being home has it's issues. I always have a rough time trying to become re-accustomed to not being able to make decisions for myself. The family needs to adjust to me being home too.

I really need to clean my room. there is so much shit in there and most of it I don't know where it came from. That is my project for the next couple days. Hopefully I can get up the gumption to do that.

OK, I need to get some sleep. I have to get Alex up and ready for school tomorrow morning.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

House Concert

Tonight was really great. Steph, Kay and I went to a Jenny and Tyler house concert. It was so good. I've been pumped for like a week for this. It's part of what has gotten me though the week.

Well, we didn't really think that it would be awkward to go to someones house that we have never met before, however, when we pulled up to the house and there were like 8 cars in the driveway... we had one of those moment where we weren't sure if this was a good idea.  But being being the brave women that we are, we of course went in because we had driven 30 minutes...  we weren't about to leave before checking it out.

Once in the backyard we started talking with Jenny (from Jenny and Tyler) and Katie (the woman who's house we were at). It was nice chatting and making new friends. Later, we met Tyler (from Jenny and Tyler) and he said that is was cool that we just came even though we knew no one. He said that they have been having a hard time getting outsiders to come.  It was really cool how chill the atmosphere was.  Not only did it not phase the home owner that we crashed, but Jenny and Tyler we so cool to talk to.  They are one of the most down to earth, and cute couple I've met in awhile. 

They played some new music that was a fabulous as their earlier stuff.  I loved their song, One Eyed Cat  Also a lot of their music had a cool social justice message to it.  I really appreciate that.  If someone has an audience then they have the power to create change in the world.  I think Jenny and Tyler have realized that and are using their music to not only share the love of God but also to challenge others to do the same.  That is so awesome! 

No lie, if you haven't listened to their music you HAVE to check them out! I'll link to their albums at the bottom of the post.  They are so good, and totally worth it.  Also, if you sign up for their mailing list on their website will get a free Acoustic Album sent to your email.  They don't really email out too often, so it's a good deal.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

But does it matter?

Easter was like 2 days ago. Because of this I've been faced with the story that we celebrate this time of year. It's taken me a couple days to really mull over what it is we believe. Pastor Marsha (the one from where I work) challenged us to really think about if we actually believe Easter matters. If I'm honest, it really depends on the day.

On the one hand, I think that if God is a loving God (like I KNOW He is) then of course Jesus' death and resurrection makes everyone OK by default.

On the other hand, if that were true, then why would Jesus have had to come out of the tomb? I mean, he beat death, whether we knew it or not and so once he came back to life he could have just peaced out. God could have beamed him up right out of the tomb... no heavy lifting necessary.

However, that's not how it went down. He stepped out of the tomb and scared the living daylights out of Mary Magdalene and the other women and later his disciples as well.

He stepped out and then had his disciples do the same. He could have stopped after he told his buddies that he was OK, but instead he had them spread the word. He said "therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptising them, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28:19) And they did it.

It seems to me if this was all made up they would have done no such thing. Why die a cruel and painful death to protect a lie. Someone would have ratted them out... yet no one changed their story.

I know that I believe in Jesus, and a lot of these questions stem from a discomfort with evangelism and the fear of my friends going to Hell. I have a hard time thinking a loving God would send them to Hell, but maybe He would.

What do you all think? Is this a legit concern or am I over-thinking everything? Should I just believe what I was taught in Sunday school or should I continue to be critical of the doctrine I don't understand? Some feedback would be greatly appreciated. :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


The "Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard"

-Guest Post by Jon Acuff

61. On the final show, the celebrity mucician they pair them with is Michael W. Smith = +2

To add up your score with over 130 other ideas on this scoreard, visit

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Campus Ministry House

Oh man... I am so pumped for next year!

Recently there had been talk about turning the former Chi O house into the Campus Ministry house. Well, guess who will be living there? If you guessed me, you are so right!

This is probably my only chance to live in a house with like 11 other Christians. We can make this so cool. The kitchen is wonderful, the bedrooms are huge, and there is so much more that is awesome about this house.

I really hope that campus recievs this well. I know there was a lot of animosity about the Chi Os getting kicked off. They didn't want to house to stay empty so somewhere along the lines the idea for a Campus Ministries house came into being, and now it's a reality.

Anyways, I'm really excited for it. I'm hoping to create a new blog where myself and oher members of the house post updates and keep people in the loop. It could be cool.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Why did the kid throw a clock?

Because he wanted to see time fly...

It is nearly the end of Spring Break of my Junior year. Where has all of this time gone??? For real. I feel like just last week I was sitting with my housemates behind our house just chillin' and enjoying the weather. Then I blinked and I only have a month and a half left in the school year. It is crazy how time works.

I turn 21 in approximately 4 days. I don't feel this old, but apparently I am. When I drove Sarah to school today I heard an Usher song that came out when I was in High School on the radio. That wouldn't have been a big deal but it was on the "retro music" segment of the morning show. When did 2004 become retro??? A little bit more understandable was when later in the day they called "All-Star" by Smash Mouth a blast from the past. I think it was released in like 1999, so like Elementary School. But dear God! I feel like an old fart. Music I grew up hearing debut on the radio is being called retro and old... what does that make me?

Anyways, yes. The big 2 1 is coming up. I know I should be really excited, but I don't really care that much. I mean, cool, I'll be able to legally drink with my friends, but my life won't really change that much. I don't see me being one of those people who turns 21 and goes wild and crazy. But only time will tell I guess.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

One year ago today

That is when Peter died. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I mean, I didn't know him very well. We sorta hung out with the same people, but generally speaking, hadn't talked all that much.

I was doing ok. I made it through a facebook status or two and a tweet. Then I went to chrck my email... Mom had sent me a forward about a teacher who told all her students that they make a difference in her life. She put a ribbon on their shirts then handed them three more. One student took it to a buisness man who had helped him figure out his career goals and passed on the extras telling him to do the same. The buisness man gave one to his boss telling him to pass it on. The boss went home and sat down with his son. He told his son what had happened and said that he couldn't think of anyone more deserving that his son to have the last ribbon. The son broke down crying and said that he had spend the afternoon writing a suicide note. He was going to kill himself when his parents went to bed. He never thought his parents cared about him.

This simple act of letting people know how much they mean to you litterally saved this boy's life. Sometimes I wonder if that would have saved Peter. If one more person had said they loved him, they cared about him and what happened to him mattered I wonder if he would still be here. He couldn't have known how deeply this would effect so many people. Even people like me who didn't know him well feel the loss.

Ok, time to get back to studying for Midterms... I hate exam weeks. They are the worst.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Big Changes

There has been a big change in my life this week. I quit CWS. It's really weird to have that not be a part of my schedule anymore. I mean, since the first or second week of freshman year I have been either singing in or planning the service. But no more.

I had very little passion for the ministry anymore, and even worse, I was starting to resent it. I never wanted to go on Sunday and I would feel so guilty about that. I don't think I've been at all this semester.

Part of me wonders if I am just crossing off all of the ministries from the list of ones I used to do, or am I actually hearing God? Am I just being lazy? I don't think it would have been good for me to keep going since I didn't like the service.

It's kinda hard right now. I feel like so much of what made me me my freshman and sophmore years is no longer a part of who I am. I don't do CWS, I don't go to WCA, I don't go to Primetime (though I am trying it out again). And I ended up not leading YoungLife. All of those campus ministries that were once a part of my identity are no long there. So, I'm kinda floundering. I'm trying to figure out who I am now. What makes up who I am?

I've been told to ask God how he thinks of me, but I have a hard time understanding his answer. And I feel like the Bible just says generic things like "made in God's image" and "you are God's workmanship". That's all well and good, but I need more concrete answers... I need actual descriptions of who he sees me as. I need real answers, not the generic, this applies to anyone answers. I want to know who I am so I can be confident enough to live that way.

But somehow I feel like that won't ever really happen. I will always have to struggle with identity. The struggle with identity is all throughout the Bible, so at least I'm in good company.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


So, it is Lent. Time to decide what to give up, or take on, or whatever it is that you do.

This year, I didn't think I was going to give anything up, but then my friends and I were talking about "Christianese." Christianese is the words and phrases that are common in Christian circles but everyone else is like 'what the hell is that supposed to mean?' As my friends and I were discussing it, I realized that this insider talk has really seeped into my daily life. That realization along with the fact that insider speak can dissuade people who aren't privy to what you know has caused me to look at the way I communicate with people.

This year I am giving up Christianese for Lent. Words and phrases like, "bless her/his heart", "love on", "Fellowship", "guard your heart" and other such words and phrases. The motivation behind this is to make my communication with my friends who may not know what I am trying to say better. Also, this makes me pay attention to what I'm saying. I don't just throw churchy words around without thinking about what I mean. I have to articulate my ideas in more direct language.

Ok, so that is where I am. Just thought I would share. :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Sounds of Hope

Wow, last night's concert went sooooo well!!! I am so happy with it. I was a little nervous about the performers because I had never heard any of them perform but my leap of faith was well rewarded. All five of them were incredibly talented and so much fun to listen to. It was awesome. Last I heard we raised about $300 dollars between the $1 raffle tickets and just straight up donations for Doctors Without Borders. I am just blown away.

But Wittenberg isn't done supporting Haiti yet. Tonight is another concert that I am absolutely pumped for. Conor planned a Just Eve and Wittmen Crew concert. He has already made about $400 via tshirt sales and ticket sales for CRUDEM Hospital Sacre Coeur in Milot, Haiti. I'm so happy for him! Also for the Super Bowl this Sunday Sodexo said they would donate 10% of all proceeds from food purchases to Doctors Without Borders! That is huge!!!!

I'm not going to lie... I wasn't sure I could get everything done in time since I had to get my appendix out. But my friends really stepped up and helped out SO much!!! I am crazy thankful that they are as awesome as they are. Like I have no words for how amazing they are. Literally... no words.

OK, I'm going to try and go back to sleep for a few hours, but we will see if that will actually happen... :D

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bye Bye Appendix

I just got my appendix out yesterday.

I thought that I had the flu on Thursday but by that night I was in a lot of pain. When the pain continued into Friday I called mom and told her I needed to come home. We decided on the ride home that I should go to the ER before going home home. So we went to the Dublin hospital (which is a really nice place.) and they did a CT scan and blood work on me and saw that my appendix were inflamed and my white blood cell count was up. They decided that I needed to get an appendectomy. They did it laproscopically and that means I won't take nearly as long as I would have if I had a normal surgery.

That being said this is making the concert planning a bit more difficult. Most of our stuff is done, but I still need to be able to get some last minute stuff done. oh well. At least I'm starting to feel better, but right now I need to sleep.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Too Big for Me

Today was a day that everything felt too big for me to handle. The concert, my future, my homework, my relationships, my social contact. All of it. Was. Just. Too. Much. I was absolutely overwhelmed. It felt like I was trying to walk through molasses. Not good. It was like I wasn't (and if I'm entirely honest, still am not) comfortable in my own skin. I tried to talk to Kate tonight and it was like that awkward acquaintances kinda conversation. I hated it, so I peaced out quick. And when I went to dinner with Martha I couldn't get out of my own head to really listen to her. I hate it when I'm like that. It's an awful way to treat a friend.

This afternoon I had the closest thing to a panic attack that I've had in a while. The magnitude of what I am trying to do and the impossible-ness of me shaking off this procrastination that plagues my life hit me in the middle of Spanish. I held it in until I got home for like 3 minutes and literally had to talk myself into continuing on with this concert. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. Most days I would say that I really do like being me; today is not one of those days. I would rather be pretty much anyone but me.

God, I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm awkward and insecure and all sorts of things that I don't like. It's yucky and needs to end now!

I'm going to bed. I'm too tired from fighting this all day.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Concert Time Again

Back in the day when I was still a High School-er some friends and I planned a benefit concert for the Invisible Children.

Well, I'm at it again. This time, however, the proceeds are going to either go towards the Red Cross, or Doctors Without Borders. I am also considering Church World Service. The one I am leaning towards most is probably Doctors Without Borders because a) they don't have the "christian" stigma attached to them, and b) they seem to be better stewards of the money that the Red Cross. By that I mean that a higher percent of the donation will go straight to helping Haiti instead of paying someones salary. I love the Red Cross, they are fabulous, but in this case I feel we may want to go with more money helping Haiti. Also, the Doctors Without Borders will stay in the country with very little regard for how dangerous it gets. The Red Cross may need to pull out if the violence gets to be too much.

So, that's what's on my plate right now. I'm shooting to have this on Friday, February 5. I talked to PR about it and emailed Kristen Collier about it. I also have discussed this at length with Kay, Nat, and Mary. They are all on board to help in any way. Kay and Mary are going to design the posters and potentially the shirts (if we get some).



$2 cover charge

$10 Event T Shirt (?)

Donated food (price depending)

Musical Acts:

Micah Bonsell

William the Accountant (?)

Joey Hendrickson (?)

There is also potential for more acts to be added along the way.

So, yeah. That's just a little peek into the life of me I suppose. These next couple weeks are going to be busy.

Monday, January 18, 2010


I know this probably sounds odd and maybe even a bit creepy, but have really been craving human touch recently. I don't know why. I just really want some skin to skin contact (not like that pervert). I guess it helps me keep from being numb to everything. I get in these moods where I feel entirely isolated from everyone around me, even people I am really close with. I mean, for most people there has to be at least some form of relationship before you will have any physical contact (handshakes don't count). Feeling their touch reminds me that we are all connected and they do care for me.

Along those lines, I really hate sleeping by myself. It's funny because that's pretty much the only thing I do. When I'm home sometimes Alex and I fall asleep on the couch while watching TV/movies. I love that. I really just want someone to cuddle with here at school. I don't really feel like any of my friends are really into that.

Even something as simple as a shoulder rub would be nice. I mean, I was totally spoiled when I was in Tetelestai way back in the day. It was an odd day if we didn't have a hug line or massage lines. I feel like no one does that here. That kinda became one of the ways I showed friends that I cared for them, but I don't know that anyone is receptive to that here.

I guess I'm just feeling whinny tonight. Now it's time to go to bed... alone... again. :-/

Thursday, January 14, 2010


I'm feeling that old familiar restlessness stirring up in my soul again. It has been so long since this old friend has paid me a visit that I almost forgot what it feels like.

The disaster in Haiti is absolutely breaking my heart. Add to it the ignorant comments made by Pat Robertson about the earthquake being retribution for the Haitians 'making a pact with the devil' and all I want to do is pack a bag and make my way to the city of Port-au-Prince.

I was joking about this with my housemates while I was making dinner today. I'm not sure the recognized the truth behind what I was saying. People don't understand how hard it is for me to not just up and leave sometimes. There were nights after Katrina and the Tsunami that I litterally cried myself to sleep because I couldn't go help. Not to sound melodramatic, but it litterally feels like my heart is ripping in two.

I am a fixer. I need to do something to fix people's lives that are in turmoil like this. I'm not talking about solving all of their problems, but simple things. Things like getting them fresh water, and reasonably priced food. Even simple first aid. These are things I can help with. However, instead I am staying here. I have a job, classes, and other responsibilities. I wish I wasn't tied down and that I was able to go and do something.

I know that praying is a huge help. We worship a big and powerful God. But it doesn't feel like enough. I feel the need to do more, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to just be some "well-meaning American" I really want to help these people. I want to do something to aleviate some pain from the situation.

I just don't know how...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

What the Past Held, and the Future Holds

A realization struck me over break. I have 3 semesters left at Witt. Sure I can go to grad school, but that is not the same. I love my friends so much. I have finally found people who love me and accept me for who I am and don't expect me to be someone I'm not. I really don't want to leave this community. I have been through so much over the last 2.5 years. I know there is more to come and 3 semesters is a long time, but it's still a little overwhelming. There are moments that I will never forget. My favorite moments are:
  • Playing hide and seek in Meijer with Katie B., Katie C., and Steve.
  • Three trips through the McDonald's drive-thru so we didn't have to pay people back.
  • Sitting in the chapel after CWS rehearsal with Kate Longtin talking about everything from boys to ghosts.
  • Watching Ghost Hunters with Kate and cooking in her apartment
  • Playing Guitar Hero with whoever would play.
  • Odd-Hour food dates with Natalie in the CDR booths
  • Prime-time prayer meetings on Wednesday nights.
  • Girls Bible Study (both freshman and sophomore years)
  • Leading a PT Bible Study with Megan
  • Discipleship with Ashley
  • Midnight t-hos runs with the girls
  • Staying up and talking all night with Martha
  • Playing ultimate Frisbee in a rain storm with the girls from the 3rd floor.
  • Fall Break DC trip with Alyssa, Amanda, and Sarah D.
  • Coffee dates with friends.
  • Peer Helper training
  • When I told Nat and Kay that I got the youth director job and getting tackled in their excitement.
  • Building a fort in the living room and falling asleep in their (many times)
  • Starting the "Happy Thoughts" wall
  • Writing a song in the shower
  • Putting the words from the shower to music.
  • Watching Lost and having a Lost day
  • Star gazing
  • Thanksgiving dinner with the girls from 631
  • When Grant came to visit
  • Learning the Hoedown Throwdown
  • Playing Hacky-Sack
  • Having a girly movie night
  • Communivale

There are more, I'm just tired of trying to think of them all. Overall the last 2.5 years have been fantastic. I love where I am and don't want to leave. However that is not an option. I have to leave, so now it's time to figure out what I'm going to do when I do leave. I know I am going to take a year and do LVC (hopefully in either DC, Chicago or Seattle). After that I'm pretty sure I will go back to school, but I really don't know what for. There are a number of things I could see myself doing and being happy with it.

I could be a pastor. I enjoy sharing what I learn from the Bible with other people and to have the added bonus of having studied it (and will have continued). The problem is that I don't think I will be able to handle the political-ness that comes along with working in a church. Also, I am scared that if I was to work in a church for a long time I would lose the "wildness" that is my faith. I have taken time to refine my faith and how I relate to God, however I am not scared of telling someone they are wrong if they are acting contrary to the character of God. Its like, when you see a lion in the wild you can see a certain fire and wildness in their eyes. But when you see a lion in the zoo that fire has died down and they are much more tame. I don't what to be tamed. I like the wildness of my faith. I think that is an important image. There is a reason they called Jesus the Lion from the tribe of Judah. Jesus wasn't tame, and we are called to be Christ-like. When we become tame we no-longer are acting in line with Jesus.

Another option is for me to be a professor. I love sharing what I know with other people. And I love the college atmosphere. Also, I honestly feel like the best way to help people is to educate them. If this is something I am passionate about then I need to actually do something about it, not just talk about it. A problem is that in order to do that I need to get my PHD and in order to do that I need to get into a PHD program. I don't think I have good enough grades for that.

I could also open a non-profit organization that's whole purpose is to take in kids (read 12 years old through 21 years old) who have nowhere to live and give them the opportunity to change their stars (as William Thatcher puts it). It would be set up in a house where the kids would live (along with my family) and we would function as a whole family unit. The would have chores, and "study tables" and would have privileges that can be taken away if they break a rule. And school would be necessary. Also, they would have to allow us to make them get drug tests done. It would allow them somewhere safe to live and guaranteed food on the table and the chance to not worry about things that get in the way of their studies. Ideally this is what I would love to do, but it doesn't pay well. Hopefully I will have a biological family that will need to be provided for. I suppose my husband would be working and I could work as well, but I don't really know where. I suppose I could open a coffee shop in conjunction with the organizations (tentatively called The Rahab House) and then use the revenue to support my family. Also the older kids could work (for real wages) and learn how to support themselves and eventual family. I don't think I would make the kids go to church, but I would encourage it. I understand not wanting to go, so I wouldn't want to force that on anyone.

By the looks of this analysis it seems like I'm most passionate about the Rahab House, but I don't know if I can do it. I suppose I have some praying to do.

I guess I didn't get the gift of discernment. I need to pray for that as well.

OK, Alex has his pinewood derby tomorrow, so I should get a bit of sleep before I have to leave. I'm back on campus tomorrow night! Can't wait.