Thursday, February 25, 2010

Big Changes

There has been a big change in my life this week. I quit CWS. It's really weird to have that not be a part of my schedule anymore. I mean, since the first or second week of freshman year I have been either singing in or planning the service. But no more.

I had very little passion for the ministry anymore, and even worse, I was starting to resent it. I never wanted to go on Sunday and I would feel so guilty about that. I don't think I've been at all this semester.

Part of me wonders if I am just crossing off all of the ministries from the list of ones I used to do, or am I actually hearing God? Am I just being lazy? I don't think it would have been good for me to keep going since I didn't like the service.

It's kinda hard right now. I feel like so much of what made me me my freshman and sophmore years is no longer a part of who I am. I don't do CWS, I don't go to WCA, I don't go to Primetime (though I am trying it out again). And I ended up not leading YoungLife. All of those campus ministries that were once a part of my identity are no long there. So, I'm kinda floundering. I'm trying to figure out who I am now. What makes up who I am?

I've been told to ask God how he thinks of me, but I have a hard time understanding his answer. And I feel like the Bible just says generic things like "made in God's image" and "you are God's workmanship". That's all well and good, but I need more concrete answers... I need actual descriptions of who he sees me as. I need real answers, not the generic, this applies to anyone answers. I want to know who I am so I can be confident enough to live that way.

But somehow I feel like that won't ever really happen. I will always have to struggle with identity. The struggle with identity is all throughout the Bible, so at least I'm in good company.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


So, it is Lent. Time to decide what to give up, or take on, or whatever it is that you do.

This year, I didn't think I was going to give anything up, but then my friends and I were talking about "Christianese." Christianese is the words and phrases that are common in Christian circles but everyone else is like 'what the hell is that supposed to mean?' As my friends and I were discussing it, I realized that this insider talk has really seeped into my daily life. That realization along with the fact that insider speak can dissuade people who aren't privy to what you know has caused me to look at the way I communicate with people.

This year I am giving up Christianese for Lent. Words and phrases like, "bless her/his heart", "love on", "Fellowship", "guard your heart" and other such words and phrases. The motivation behind this is to make my communication with my friends who may not know what I am trying to say better. Also, this makes me pay attention to what I'm saying. I don't just throw churchy words around without thinking about what I mean. I have to articulate my ideas in more direct language.

Ok, so that is where I am. Just thought I would share. :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Sounds of Hope

Wow, last night's concert went sooooo well!!! I am so happy with it. I was a little nervous about the performers because I had never heard any of them perform but my leap of faith was well rewarded. All five of them were incredibly talented and so much fun to listen to. It was awesome. Last I heard we raised about $300 dollars between the $1 raffle tickets and just straight up donations for Doctors Without Borders. I am just blown away.

But Wittenberg isn't done supporting Haiti yet. Tonight is another concert that I am absolutely pumped for. Conor planned a Just Eve and Wittmen Crew concert. He has already made about $400 via tshirt sales and ticket sales for CRUDEM Hospital Sacre Coeur in Milot, Haiti. I'm so happy for him! Also for the Super Bowl this Sunday Sodexo said they would donate 10% of all proceeds from food purchases to Doctors Without Borders! That is huge!!!!

I'm not going to lie... I wasn't sure I could get everything done in time since I had to get my appendix out. But my friends really stepped up and helped out SO much!!! I am crazy thankful that they are as awesome as they are. Like I have no words for how amazing they are. Literally... no words.

OK, I'm going to try and go back to sleep for a few hours, but we will see if that will actually happen... :D