Thursday, January 14, 2010


I'm feeling that old familiar restlessness stirring up in my soul again. It has been so long since this old friend has paid me a visit that I almost forgot what it feels like.

The disaster in Haiti is absolutely breaking my heart. Add to it the ignorant comments made by Pat Robertson about the earthquake being retribution for the Haitians 'making a pact with the devil' and all I want to do is pack a bag and make my way to the city of Port-au-Prince.

I was joking about this with my housemates while I was making dinner today. I'm not sure the recognized the truth behind what I was saying. People don't understand how hard it is for me to not just up and leave sometimes. There were nights after Katrina and the Tsunami that I litterally cried myself to sleep because I couldn't go help. Not to sound melodramatic, but it litterally feels like my heart is ripping in two.

I am a fixer. I need to do something to fix people's lives that are in turmoil like this. I'm not talking about solving all of their problems, but simple things. Things like getting them fresh water, and reasonably priced food. Even simple first aid. These are things I can help with. However, instead I am staying here. I have a job, classes, and other responsibilities. I wish I wasn't tied down and that I was able to go and do something.

I know that praying is a huge help. We worship a big and powerful God. But it doesn't feel like enough. I feel the need to do more, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to just be some "well-meaning American" I really want to help these people. I want to do something to aleviate some pain from the situation.

I just don't know how...

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