Monday, January 18, 2010


I know this probably sounds odd and maybe even a bit creepy, but have really been craving human touch recently. I don't know why. I just really want some skin to skin contact (not like that pervert). I guess it helps me keep from being numb to everything. I get in these moods where I feel entirely isolated from everyone around me, even people I am really close with. I mean, for most people there has to be at least some form of relationship before you will have any physical contact (handshakes don't count). Feeling their touch reminds me that we are all connected and they do care for me.

Along those lines, I really hate sleeping by myself. It's funny because that's pretty much the only thing I do. When I'm home sometimes Alex and I fall asleep on the couch while watching TV/movies. I love that. I really just want someone to cuddle with here at school. I don't really feel like any of my friends are really into that.

Even something as simple as a shoulder rub would be nice. I mean, I was totally spoiled when I was in Tetelestai way back in the day. It was an odd day if we didn't have a hug line or massage lines. I feel like no one does that here. That kinda became one of the ways I showed friends that I cared for them, but I don't know that anyone is receptive to that here.

I guess I'm just feeling whinny tonight. Now it's time to go to bed... alone... again. :-/

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