Today has been an long day. I only got 3 hours of sleep last night which is making tonight so much harder. One of the guys I graduated with died this morning. He had been battling a brutal cancer for the past year. He is a true inspiration. I don't know that I would have had the strength he had for as long as he endured. His dad had kept a blog throughout the whole battle and here is what he posted today:
"RYAN LEFT HIS MARK!
Ryan Michael Salmons, age 19, passed away and earned his angel wings on Friday, May 1, 2009.
Over the past year, Ryan has fought with perseverance and grace. Many times when he could have been bitter and angry, Ryan carried himself with class and dignity. Ryan was the epitome of courage and strength.
People live various number of years. Some live to be a hundred, some in their 50's and 60's. I truly believe that only the good die young. My son Ryan was GREAT! Over the past year he has touch thousands of lives, many people he never met or knew. We would talk about making a difference and it is not the quantity of time but want you do with the time you have. Ryan could not understand why peoples lives changed because of him. He just continued to fight his battle. I tried to help him understand it is not the fight, but how you are fighting the fight. He just told me that he may never understand why people admire him.
Throughout the journey, Ryan continued to want to do for others. Ryan tried to help parents on J5 when their kids could not verbalize what the drugs did to them. He became friends with younger patients and treated them family. Even when the Blue Jackets signed him to a contract, he turned it into how he could help push the team to the playoffs. It was not about him. That was Ryan's spirit. That is who he was.
I am proud to be his father, friend, and have been blessed by having him in my life. Ryan, I love you with all my heart and look forward to seeing you again one day in heaven.
Once funeral arrangements have been completed, I will post the information on his blog.-Brad"
Needless to say it's been a rough one. And so close after the death of Peter. All I want right now is someone to cry too but everyone is out partying or working on homework and I don't want to bring them down. I want someone to come hold me, but once again I'm in my room alone. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to call. I just don't know...
Since finding out about his death this past afternoon all I've done is avoid thinking about it. I went right to a friend's room to be with people. After I went to dinner with them we went out and played Frisbee in the rain which turned into a game of ultimate in a downpour. It was fantastic. Allison, Julia and I went on a walk and just allowed ourselves to be washed by the rain. It was great, but now that I'm back in the room by myself every emotion I had been trying to avoid has come rushing in to suffocate me. I don't know what to do with myself...