"It is Christ in his distressing disguise whom I love and serve."- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
I just watched a documentary on Netflix about Mother Teresa. I have always known she is a miraculous women. A woman strong and faithful. She is someone to be admired.
I think sometimes I over complicate the Christian calling. I think it is human nature to make things more complicated than they need to be. I judge my Christianity by the way I pray, or how much I pray. I judge myself by how often I read the Bible, or go to church. I judge my spiritual life by how close I feel to God.
While I think all of these things are fruits of a healthy life in Christ, I do not think they are what leads to a healthy life in Christ. I think the real mark of a Christian is someone who says yes when they are called to something. Mother Teresa was called to the service of the the poor, sick, needy, unwanted and just entirely damaged.
I know I have talked about it before, but I'm going to say it again. My faith should not be as complicated as I make it. My faith is not about how many Bible Studies I am in, but it is about how many people I mercifully help as though they were Christ. My faith is not about having the right answers, but rather it is about having a right relationship. This is a lesson I have to learn over and over again. Maybe some day it will stick, but until then I can always look at my wrist. I have the reference for Micah 6:8 tattooed to my wrist as a daily reminder of what God requires of us. As the verse says that we should, "Act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God."
Right now, my biggest struggle is in the humility side. I feel like I know everything. What I need to know is that I am boxing God in with that attitude. If I know everything, then there is nothing for me to learn. If there is nothing for me to learn, then why do I need God? I don't. Right now, I need humility that shows me that I do not know everything. I need to be better at deferring to God.
I am learning from Mother Teresa. When she was called she did what she was told. While she was obedient, she did not force it. Her superior said that he didn't think she was right. Teresa left knowing that if God really did want her to work with the poor he would make a way. I don't have faith that is that strong. I have a hard time waiting. I am anxious and becoming complacent. I want to be moved to something. I don't really have any way to make that happen. I just have to wait, and pray. So, I guess that is what I will do. I just don't really know what I am praying for. Hopefully God will let me know what I should pray for.
Now, it is like 5:15 am, and I am still not asleep. Time for another documentary.