Monday, November 24, 2008

Early Morning Musings

I don't really know why I'm up right now. I mean, it's almost 7 in the morning I wish i was still asleep. I laid in bed for like an hour before deciding I should get up. Maybe I'll go grab some breakfast this morning... if I can't fall back asleep I think I will.

Anyways, I don't know. Life has been a little strange on my end. I mean, I talked to Grant, and things haven't really changed other than the fact that I have hope that he may like me as well. I mean, he said he isn't ready for a long distance relationship yet, but that he doesn't know what will happen in 6 months to a year. That is a really long time, but I've waited this long, so I guess it's not so bad.

All I've been able to think about recently is what it will be like when I'm married. It's so lame. I used to be someone who would pick on my friends who would do this and now I'm turning into them. I mean, I've even been dreaming about it. It's ridiculous. I don't have a boyfriend, so why is this on my mind? I don't know. Oh well. I guess it happens.

As far as God goes, He's been pretty amazing. I don't really have any specific reason to think that other than the fact that I'm noticing little things that I don't usually. I've been noticing stuff like the way the sun hits the chapel at 5 o'clock, and the warmth of my bed. It's just silly stuff, but it's all a reminder of how God loves me and how I'm not alone (which is something I've been struggling with). I mean, I have been having this desire to spend copious amounts of time with him. This desire has been keeping me awake at night. I lay in bed and just talk with him in my head. I have found myself identifying with the writer of Psalm 63. When he says, "On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night." I understand that. It's been my life for the last week and I'm starting to love it.

Ok, I think I'm going to go get dressed and then head to breakfast. This is going to be an interesting day... <><

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