Saturday, October 4, 2008

It's been a while since I've updated. I guess I haven't really had much to say. I've been busy as ever, and stressed like crazy. Not like that's a surprise, it's me.

OK, so this is going to be a kinda sucky semester i feel like. I can't seem to get things under control. I mean, it's really hard to give a rat's ass about classes when you don't even want to be here anymore. I don't want to be in school. I want to be out in the world doing something that will benefit mankind. This whole wasting my life in class thing is really getting to me. I feel like This is just keeping me from growing in ways that will be the best for me. In all honesty all I want to do is pack some clothes in a duffel bag, hop in my car (with or without a friend) and go on a road trip. I almost feel like it would be more than your average road trip though. It would be more of a spiritual quest (for lack of a better term). I want out of my comfort zone of this easy middle class life. I want to see more of creation, and meet more people. I want to be connected with this world in a way far greater then through academia. I want to be pushed to my limits and to experience the darkest despair, but also the sweetest joy. I want to feel life in it's fullest.

I am no longer content. I need change, but I can't get it. Not yet at least. It's really hard to be responsive when your heart is elsewhere. Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to suck it up. So much for following your dreams. I can't even get out of my rut of a life, let alone move mountains. I'm going to bed now. 'Night


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