What's Your Passion?

I feel like I have a fire burning deep in the core of my being.  I don’t know what it’s there for, but I can’t shake the feeling that there is something locked inside of me that I haven’t quite found the key to unleashing yet.  I just know that there is something there.  

I’ve found myself thinking about the creation story in Genesis recently.  There are two tellings, one where God speaks everything into existence, and one where he hand-crafts the world, and one particular creation; man. "Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." (Genesis 2:7) I love the imagery presented in that telling of the creation.  There is this feeling of intimacy that helps the reader to understand the care and passion that went into creation.  Not only did God form man from dust, but he also breathed into man bringing him to life!  Incredible!  Our God is an artist!

It’s no wonder to me that the first time the Spirit of God was given to a person it was given to an artist.  While Moses was on Mt Sinai talking with God, the Lord told him that he had given his spirit to two artists who were commissioned by God to create many holy artifacts, including the arc of the covenant.  (Exodus 31)  While this communion of souls was temporary, it is the same Spirit who came upon the believers at Pentecost.  God lit a fire in his people when he gave them his Spirit.  Their passion for the message of Christ was overwhelming.  They just had to let it out and share it with the people around them.  And, while God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, I often need to be reminded that He still breathes inspiration and passion into his people.  

My little brother is a very gifted artist.  While, he was born with a lot of talent in that area, the quality of hi work does not come from him just doodling.  Alex is constantly working to hone his craft.  I don’t think he ever leaves home without a sketchpad and pencil.  I get text messages from him with his latest creation all the time.  He is always drawing.  Art consumes my brother.  And because of that passion and dedication his skill is ever growing.  I have no idea how he will use that gift to impact the world, but I am confident that he will.

That’s the thing about passion and creativity; it refuses to stay locked away for long. When a person discovers their passion, the world around them gains a light that wasn’t there previously.  So, what is my passion?  I have no idea right now.  But I know I won’t have to wait much longer to find out.  I can feel it building in my soul.  It wants to burst forth and bring light to the world around me.  

What is your passion?  How did you discover it?  How are you letting it illuminate the world around you?

Goodbye 2015 (A Few Days Late)

Wow... 2015 was a really big year for me.  When I think about where I am now compared to jut a year ago, I am blown away.  It's super easy for me to get distracted by the day to day nonsense that happens, but when I step back and look I can see that God has been very faithful.

In September of 2014 I posted about how I felt like God was taking me into a season of pruning.  I didn't quite know what that meant, but I knew it was going to suck.  The first half of 2015 was super hard.  My depression was the worst it's been in a long time.  I constantly had thoughts of suicide, and it took everything in me not to act on it.  Eventually I made so really stupid choices that lead me to finally get some help with my mental illness.  I've been going to a psychologist and been on meds for almost 6 months and I am in a much better place now.  It was a very hard step, but it was worth it and I'm glad I was brave enough to do something instead of continuing to suffer.

I also am not really at church anymore.  While I was struggling so much, I felt God ask me to take a break from ministry.  Toward the end of my break I realized that I didn't really want to go back.  I needed a break from that environment, and I really needed to not work retail anymore.  So I looked for a new job, and found one at a residential facility for youths with mental health and behavioral problems due to a history of trauma.  I really like this job.  It's been almost a year and I'm still happy here.  I started on second shift, but switched to first shift recently.  I'm loving it!  I get to go to school with the kids and am working on being certified to lead therapy groups.  Even the worst days there are better than feeling unfulfilled at my retail job.

I've also been making deep and meaningful relationships, as well as mending and growing some old ones.  I've even started seeing a wonderful man who is so good to and for me.  I'm a very lucky girl.

So, when I think back to how much has changed in the last year I can't help but be overwhelmed by God's faithfulness.  I'm glad I hung on long enough to see this part of my life.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

-Isaiah 43:19

Time for a New Adventure

I have a deep need to find a community where I can be damaged, cynical, and really wrestle with what God is speaking into my life.  I have interacted with so many people who just need a safe space to really figure out where they fall on the question of religion.  We need a safe place to ask dangerous questions.  Questions that can lead to drastic change in our lives.  We need a sancutary for religious exploration and biblical learning.  One where we stop taking things at face value and learn to really dive in and think for ourselves.  

Where there is no vision the people perish. (Proverbs 29:18)  I don’t think that just means that we need good leadership.  If we are blind to truth for ourselves, no amount of preaching or predigested theology will help us.  We will wither and starve.  We need a place to learn to digest the Word on our own.  Where making mistakes and being broken are ok.  A place where authenticity is applauded, not swept under the rug.

We need a real community where we are all fighting to survive this together.  

That’s what I want to help create.  I don’t know who will come, but I trust God will bring the right people.  I can feel in my bones that I can’t just sit by anymore.  It’s time to try and build this community.  I’m not sure what it’s going to look like, but I just want people to feel loved.

I want people to feel safe to question and doubt.  I want people to not feel like they have to check part of themselves at the door.  I want to whole person, not just the cleaned up version.  I want them, warts and all.  I want this community to be an expression of the love and acceptance that God has for us.  No more feeling that they aren’t good enough.  No more thinking they aren’t worth love.  No more people forcing their beliefs on them, but rather them learning to live out their own faith.  

It’s time to get to work.  Let’s do this.

It's 4:45am, Don't Expect This To Be Super Coherent

Friday night I went to Chris' house for a worship night.  Three of the boys played guitar, one guy played the cajon, and the rest of us sang.  It was super laid back, but I know for me it was exactly what I needed.

At one point in the night I looked around and realized the amazing work God was doing in each of our lives.  I've been having a lot of conversations recently about what makes a team work well, and the best way to lead particularly in the context of church.  Our church is going through A LOT of changes, and let me just tell you that it is not comfortable.  But as I looked around the circle and saw my teammates from Impact and other brothers and sisters in Christ faces as they worshiped I suddenly had hope that we could get through this rough patch.  

I'm starting to learn that the only thing we need is for God to be our focus 100% of the time.  If we can continue to worship Him through all of the drama, politics and pain then He will come through.  I'm starting to really grasp that God really does love our kids more than we do.  When I looked at my friends in the circle I could remember a time when they each were one of my students (other than one of Chris' friends who has started to hangout with us, that is.)  I can remember when the times when I wasn't a good friend or leader to them.  None of it was ever on purpose, but there were times I hurt them, or they hurt me.  If their spiritual maturity relied entirely on me, they would have been screwed.  But that's not how God works, is it?

Over the last couple years I have watched God what has done in the lives of those high school students who were more interested in playing Ultimate Frisbee than they were learning something new about God.  He is turning them into college kids who voluntarily pray for each other and who earnestly seek God's face.

When I think of where I was in my faith when I was their age I know that they are light years ahead of me.  They are hearing God call them to do things, and they jump to it.  Right now one of the boys (19) is in Slovenia doing a 6 week mission with Cru.  Another guy  (19) is getting ready to go to Haiti, this is after he went to India earlier this year.  My sister (20) is studying the Bible with one of her friends, and is so comfortable inviting people to come to church with her.  One of the other girls (19) in our group has been on mission in Russia 4 or 5 times now.  Another girl (21) is getting ready to go to Burundi for a year.  We have people studying to be teachers, and others who want to go into the military, another who wants to run tech at our church.  All of these things are callings from God.  They already are hearing him so much better than your average 20 year old.  

I am so thankful that God has been doing such incredible work in their lives.  If this is where they are now in their early 20s, I can't wait to see where they are when they are in their 40s.  For now, though, I will enjoy watching them grow up, and continue to worship our God along with them.

Isaiah 49

** I am cleaning out my computer and just found this.  I wrote it in February, and think it is time to share it. **

Isaiah 49:12-13

See, they will come from afar-

Some from the north, some from the

west,

Some from the region of Aswan.

Shout for joy, you heavens;

rejoice, you earth;

burst into song, you mountains!

For the LORD comforts his people

And will have compassion on his

Afflicted ones.

Amen!

I read this and keep thinking of a mirror being smashed.  The problem with using a mirror is it is too self-centered.  It is not about the mirror.  It is about the light of Christ.  There is freedom in Christ.  Freedom from sin.  Freedom from shame.  Freedom from our own self-worth and self-image.  The pressure is off us to be perfect.  All we have to do is love him and he has compassion on the affliction in all of us.  He sets us free from our pain, from our circumstances, our fears.  Free.  In Christ there is no condemnation.  No one can touch us.  Christ protects us like a mother hen.  He loves us like a husband should love his wife.  He wants to protect her and make her feel loved.  He leads her down right paths.  That is how Christ loves us. 

I have been watching Supernatural recently and whenever they have a spirit who is not at rest they salt the bones and light them on fire.  Are we supposed to do the same when our spirit isn’t at rest?  Is that part of being salt and light?  Are we supposed to help purify eachother?  We should make each other strive after God harder than before.  As iron sharpens iron.  We should be exposing the darkeness in our lives to the light of Christ.  We shouldn’t settle for ok relationships with Christ.  Paul didn’t reach a certain point and stop striving; he kept running after him and so should we.  We should be spurring each other on towards being more like Christ.  

The World is on Fire

The other night I had a dream.  For most people that isn't a big deal, but I don't dream often.  When I do, someone usually is dying violently or some other nightmarish thing happens.  This dream was different, though.

It started with me outside playing basketball with some of my Impacters (the students at Impact).  After a really sweet shot (dream-me has skills) I noticed that the building we were next to was on fire.  It was just a small billow of smoke, but I knew I had to get people out before the fire grew.  I left the game and ran into the building.  I stepped into a room that looked like a lecture hall.  I started telling everyone in the room that the building was on fire and they had to get out and save themselves.  Some people immediately got up and left the same way I came in.  Others remained seated.  I started singling people out; "I need you to understand.  If you don't leave now you're going to die!"  Their responses varied.  Some listened and left.  Others argued, "I don't see a fire, so why should I leave?"  Still others complained, "But I'm comfortable where I am.  I don't want to leave."  Each time someone ignored my warnings I became more and more upset.  I wasn't angry, I was distraught.  "But if you don't come with me, you will die!  How can you just sit there?"  I just didn't understand.  There was an immediate danger and I was warning them.  Why didn't they listen?

At this point I woke up for work.  But I couldn't get the dream out of my head.  When a dream sticks with me like that I tend to ask God if there is something I should be learning from it.  What did that dream mean? When I asked this time, God reminded me of what we had discussed this week at the Gathering (our High School youth group).  We were talking about loving the lost (aka people who don't know Jesus).  One of the students said that he worried he doesn't really love his friends because he doesn't tell them about Jesus.  That struck me.  How many people do I know and not really love because I don't warn them?  At the same time, I don't want people to "convert" out of fear.  I'm not a turn-or-burn Christian.  I believe we were created for so much more than a faith from fear.

I have never considered myself much of an evangelist.  It makes me uncomfortable to just randomly talk to people about Jesus.  If someone asks me about him I am more than happy to answer questions or give them the run down.  But I have a hard time just putting myself out there.  Maybe that's the point of the dream.  I'm going to be rejected sometimes.  That's not the point.  Instead of letting my fear of failure stop me from trying I should remember those who left the first time I warned them.

Plus, in the end I'm only responsible for being obedient and faithful.  I can't change anyone's heart, only God can do that.  I can just tell them about him and live in a way that makes his existence undeniable.  I can love the people around me out of his love instead of my own.  And I can pray.

So that's what I will do.  I'm going to love people and pray that God open their hearts to him.

"Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well." -1 Thessalonians 2:8

My Disciple Updated

Back in 2008 I wrote a blog post about which of the 12 Disciples I identified with the most.  At the time I was really struggling with my faith.  I was questioning everything about who I am and what I believe.  I wrote:

Reen and I have been talking about which Apostle we think we are most like. We have both taken a liking to Thomas. I have always likened myself to Thomas in his doubt. I've been thinking about it today and have come to a realization; I am Judas. I am disheartened by Jesus. He isn't enough of a revolutionary for me. I am fairly sure I would probably have done the same as Judas. I would have sold my teacher to better the mission of the revolution.   (My Disciple)

I read that and it makes my heart flipflop.  

I remember feeling like that.  I remember crying for an hour after coming to the realization that I was not ok with Jesus.  I remember feeling like I was stuck in that situation forever.  But that isn’t what God had in mind.  He didn’t leave me there, and I am more than thankful for that.  

Today when I think about which of the disciples I am like I wouldn’t say I am like Judas anymore.  If I really sit down and think about it, I would probably be the most like Peter.  It kinda kills me to say that, because I feel like he was a bit of a tool.  The would speak and act before he thought.  He had a tendency to get an answer right, and then turn around and say something incredibly ridiculous.  

We see a great picture of this in Matthew 14:22-33.  Jesus just got done preaching and wanted to take some introvert time, so he sends his disciples ahead of him and basically says he will catch up.  So the guys get in the boat and shove off into the Sea of Galilee.  Just before daybreak, Jesus walked out to meet them

.  The disciples flipped out, and thought he was a ghost.  Jesus called out to them to reassure them that he wasn’t a ghost, and they didn’t need to be afraid.  Next thing we know, Peter has opened his mouth and said that if that was actually Jesus, to tell him to get out of the boat and walk to him.  So Jesus tells him to come to him.  So Peter hops out of the boat and starts to walk toward Jesus.  This is about the time his brain catches up with what is going on.  Peter takes a look around at the wind and waves, he freaks out and starts to sink.  Jesus reaches out, and pulls him up and asks him why he doubted.  

I don’t always jump before thinking.  But Peter really doesn’t here either.  He said he would get out of the boat if Jesus told him to do so.  I try to be the same way.  I don’t jump at every whisper of the wind, but if I feel like Jesus is asking me to do something, I am out of the boat before my brain registers what happened.  Often I have the same sinking outcome, but Jesus doesn’t let me go under.  

That isn’t the only thing about Peter, though.  Peter didn't always follow the blind faith.  When Jesus was arrested, Peter refused to admit that he had know Jesus.  The same guy who walked on water and traveled with Jesus for three years, denied being associated with him.  

I did the same during the time I wrote the post I talked about earlier.  I was disheartened with Jesus; I didn’t think he held up to his end of the deal.  I was ready to walk away and leave it all behind.

However, when Jesus rose from the dead he didn’t let Peter sit with his guilt.  Jesus met him on the beach of the same body of water on which he and Peter had walked.  It was there Jesus forgave Peter, and helped Peter forgive himself.  Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Jesus.  Each time, Peter answered with a yes that was more emphatic than the one before.  From there, Peter went on to do great things in the name of Jesus.

Jesus didn’t let me stay where I was either.  He used friends and family to remind me of who he is, and who I am.  He basically asked me if I love him.  Next thing I knew I heard myself saying “Yes, Lord, of course I love you.  How could I not?”  I am so thankful for his unwillingness to let me stay in my guilt and misery.  

I love going back and reading old blog posts, because it gives me the chance to rethink things that I wrestled with when I was younger.  It’s also fun, because sometimes I will type something out of exasperation that ends up being what God does.  That is what happened in the original post.  I ended it by saying:

I don't know what will happen. Maybe this will be the end of the Christian adventure in my life. Maybe it will turn out I am actually Peter; I have denied him but then he will take me back. I really don't know, but I’m just going to have to wait and see.  (My Disciple)

It was a hard road getting here, but I wouldn’t trade it for world.

Wise Counsel includes Psychologists

I have had a post rolling around in my head for a while now.  It is a topic incredibly dear to me, and it affects me and a number of people I love.  It is a topic our churches don’t always want to deal with, and sometimes sweep under the rug.  Other times, they blatantly alienate those who are affected by this.  What is it?

Depression.

But it’s more than that.  It’s all the mental health issues we see in our society today.  Depression is the one I deal with the most.  That and anxiety.  But there is a myriad of other ways mental illness shows up in our society and, yes, even within the walls of our very own churches. 

I can remember many conversations with close friends who have been told by other Christians who they love and trust that the reason they have depression/anxiety/fill-in-the-blank was because they don’t pray enough.  That is a load of crap.  You are not less of a believer if you have a mental illness, and your mental illness does not define you. 

Recently I had a friend come to me and “confess” they are depressed.  The way they talked about it made it sound like it was some dark skeleton they have kept in their closet for years.  It absolutely broke my heart.  I could tell while talking to them that they honestly thought this was something to be ashamed of.  Like this was going to make me trust them less or think less of them.  All I wanted to do was hug them and tell them that they are going to be ok.  Instead I shared some of my story.

I have had some serious depression issues in my life.  I know what it is like to wake up and feel like there was no point to life.  I can literally tell in my mind when I depressed and when I wasn’t based on the colors of my memories.  My memories from when I was depressed are muted and have lots of cool colors in them.  That is contrasted with the incredibly vibrant colors of when I am free of that mental state.  There have been times where I literally fell into be completely spent at the end of the day; not because I did anything spectacular, but because I survived the day.  There have been times where the only book in the Bible I could identify with was Ecclesiastes.  Everything was meaningless.

That book doesn’t make sense in the grand scheme of the Bible.  There isn’t much about God’s love/power/etc. in it.  Ecclesiastes is basically King Solomon’s view of the world from the lens of depression.  Originally there was debate about whether or not it should even be in the Bible.  Do you know why they added it?  They ultimately included it because it was a good depiction of part of our broken world.  Depression is real.  It hurts.  But it doesn’t define you or make you less of a believer.

We are often told in the Bible to seek wise counsel.  People are ok with that, until it comes to mental illness.  Then they want to just sweep it under the rug.  Don’t do that.  You aren’t helping yourself.  Now don’t get me wrong, I totally believe Jesus can heal us of anything and everything instantaneously and forever.  But that doesn’t discount the fact that God has given us the ability and knowledge to be freed through medicine.  Do I think you should pray for supernatural healing for your mental illness?  Abso-freakin-loutly.  Do I think that is all you should do?  Hell no!  Seeking wise counsel includes us going to the correct doctors for what is ailing us.  Don’t just ignore it and hope it goes away.  That is too dangerous.  Don’t mess around with your life.  Life isn’t a game, so don’t treat it like it is. 

If nothing else from this sinks in, please remember that your depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts/eating disorder/bipolar disorder/ etc. DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, and it does not make you less of a believer.  You are loved no matter what state your mind is in.  Jesus didn’t wait for you to get your act together before he died for you, and he doesn’t wait for you to heal yourself before he will welcome you into his family.  He said it himself, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” (Matthew 9:12)  So please do not be ashamed to seek out professional help.  And don’t forget that you are not alone in this struggle.  There are a lot of us out there fighting this battle.  I believe one day we will win this battle, for Jesus has already won the war.  

Adventure

I don’t know what it is about spring, but this time every year my desire to go on an adventure is awakened.  Something about spring makes me hope that Peter Pan would come through my window and tell me the Lost Boys need a mother.  Makes me long for a blue Police Box that is bigger on the inside to bring the Raggedy Doctor into my life, even if it means I have a lot of running in my future.  I want to become the heroine of my story, not a passive bystander.

I never really know how to put this feeling into words.  I do know that it is like a fire burning in the pit of my stomach.  It is in the same place where I feel nervousness or shame, but it is an entirely different feeling.  It moves from my core and spreads through my limbs making me antsy for whatever it is that is coming my way. 

This is the same feeling that has caused me to try to pack a bag and skip town every time there is a natural or man-made disaster.  More than once my mom has walked in on me throwing clothes and toiletries into a dufflebag.  The first time she didn't even know what to do with me.  She stood in my doorway asking me what I was doing.  “Mom, didn't you hear?  There was a tsunami in the Indian Ocean.  It has killed a lot of people and I need to go help.”  She wouldn't let me go.  In her defense, I was only in High school, and didn't have a passport.  The same feeling was awakened when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.  Once again, I tried to physically go help.  Again, mom wouldn't let me. 

The cycle continued when I watched the Invisible Children movie as a senior in High School.  I tried to leave, mom put me on lock down.  I started to realize that my intentions were good, but my application did not match where I was in my life.  Instead of trying to do it on my own, I started talking to my peers.  This was too big to let go without doing something.  We decided that if we cannot go to help fix the problem, we would help raise money so other people can do what we can’t.  We held a benefit concert to raise money and awareness. 

After all of these my hunger for adventure was satiated, but barely.  Now, nothing is quenching that fire.  I was thinking about this on my way home from giving my siblings a ride to school.  I was struck with how tame our faith has become.  The reason I am so antsy and so hungry for adventure is because that is what we were created for.  When we look at the stories of the Ancients of faith we see them walking closely with God, and their stories are so full of danger, impossibilities, and love.  They live adventurous lives. 

The more time you spend with someone, the more you become like them.  We see this clearly with the disciples.  They spend three years with Jesus, learning to love people alongside their master.  Once Jesus went back to the Father, they were still on earth to finish out the adventure he had sent them on.  They were healing people, casting out demons, facing down angry mobs with stones and a few even took on royalty, all in the name of Christ.  There had to be moments were they looked at each other and asked, “is this real life?”  That life is more real and fiery than all the mediocre, lukewarm lives people live today. 

Today I realized that when I am craving adventure, what I am really craving is a closer connection with Jesus.  The adventure will come naturally.  First, I need to learn how to walk with Jesus, and hear his voice clearly, and then I can learn to run.  It’s not about what I can do, but about how much I love spending time with God.  If I rest into Him, he will give me the desires of my heart; no deep relationship with Jesus can be dull.  So, let’s do it!  Let’s dive in head first and live the dynamic lives we were created for.  No more boring half asleep lives.  It’s time to wake up and walk so close to the fire of God that we can’t help but light on fire ourselves.  

Spiritual Authority?

I feel like I need to update this.  I haven’t written much recently, I just haven’t had time.  

Work is going well.  I feel like I really am beginning to build relationships with some of the kids at ESOL.  There are still a few who can be a bit ornery, but they are getting better.  I am also building relationships with the volunteers, and that makes me so happy.  It is hard to be the leader of a room when you don’t know the personalities, strengths and passions of the people who are supposed to be helping you.  But we are all learning.  

Impact is doing well.  I have this feeling that it is going to blow up (in a good way) over the summer, so I am really praying for God to raise up leaders who will come along side our kids and invest in their lives.  I have seen so much growth in our current leaders, and am so excited to see what God does with them as they grow older. 

I am still going to Fire, and I love it.  It is so nice to be in a community of believers who are going hard after God.  It is even nicer that they are close to my age!  What a bonus!

For Lent this year I have decided to run hard after the Holy Spirit.  I am spending serious time in prayer and am listening for His voice in my life.  When he tells me to do something I am doing it.  I am praying for dreams and visions.  I am trying to learn how to heal people.  While this may sound crazy to a lot of people, it has been amazing what God has been doing since I started this journey just over a week ago!  Plus, God says:

The Lord says:  These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.  Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.” (Isaiah 29:13-14)

I am going to take that and run with it.  I don’t want my faith to be just about what I know, but who I know!

That being said, I have really been struggling with the idea of Spiritual Authority.  In order to walk into the things I feel like I am being called to I need to be able to also walk into my spiritual authority.  That is a hard concept for me.  I have grown up with friends and parts of my home congregation that have said women do not carry the same authority as men.  That has wounded me a lot more than I realized.  I have felt as though I am not as capable in the Spirit as the male counterparts that are around me. 

These wounds are so deep that I second-guess myself often.  I am always sure that God has settled on using me because no one else has stepped up.  That is a blatant lie.  God put me where I am because He wants me there, not because he is settling.  I need to remember that. 

Last night I read a blog about the Priesthood of all Believers.  Jessica Leep Fick is a staff member for InterVarsity.  She was writing about her journey in understanding that she is a part of that priesthood.  She says, “…doubts still linger in my heart from people and churches that have sent me the message- ‘you can’t do this. You aren’t allowed. You didn’t go to seminary. You’re a woman.  You aren’t legit. Who do you think you are?’”  It was like she read my mind.  Ultimately, she decided to believe Jesus, not these lies. 

That is the path I am on now.  I am choosing to believe God’s word, even though I am not sure.  In 1 Peter, God says “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)  If I am walking in authority in a way that declares “praises of him who called [me] out of the darkness” then why wouldn’t He back me up?

If I am healing, or stepping out in faith as a way to bring Him glory He isn’t just going to leave me hanging.  If I am doing those things with an attitude of pride and showing off, then of course I will fall flat.  The only authority I have is found when I humble myself as Christ did.  Then God will raise me up as one of His beloved children, part of His royal priesthood.

25 Before 25: Updated

So, on New Year’s Eve I had a realization.  I only have one full year until I am 25.  That means I only have one year and a couple months to finish my 25 before 25 list.  So, I went back and looked at the list.  Some of the things on I’m not really interested anymore.  I’m going to switch some for ones that I actually want to do.  So, here is my updated 25 Before 25 list:

 

My 25 Before 25: Updated

1. Graduate from college
2. Run a 5k
3. Start my own business

4. Go to New York for the New Year's Eve ball drop
5. Become better at slowing down and enjoying the moment
6. Weigh less so I have more energy and get off the sidelines.
7. Get better at Spanish

8. Go paint balling
9. Learn to play the guitar (or ukulele) better
10. Visit Martha in Buffalo
11. Go on a mission trip
12. Move out of my parents' house
13. Buy a car
14. Go geocaching and actually find something
15. Help (at least) one person to become more compassionate toward the world outside of the USA
16. Spend less time angry with God, and more time in praise-filled prayer
17. Go on a road trip
18. Start writing a book.
19. Help build a house (with Habitat or another group)

20. Start working on getting my teaching license.
21. Visit Ground Zero in New York
22. Go to Daytona for the Student Life at the Beach youth conference.
23. Find a community of believers my own age and get plugged in with them. (01-28-2013)
24. Try Deep Fried Kool-Aid

25. Have Breakfast at Tiffany’s 

Some of these I should be able to knock out together.  I already have plans with friends to go to New York for the ball drop this coming New Year’s. I figure we can visit Ground Zero, and I’m sure I can convince at least one of them to have breakfast with me outside of Tiffany’s.  As for some of the others, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

If any of these seem like fun to you, feel free to let me know, and I will bring you along on my adventures.