front page news

"Reported Suicide of Executive is Latest Shock at Freddie Mac"

I pick up the New York Times today and that is the first headline I see. It is front page news, I mean, it's right below the main picture above the fold; prime real estate as far as journalism goes. I realize that there is a recession going on and all that jazz, but why is his death on the front page of the New York Times??? I'm not saying that he was a bad man or not worthy of the front page, I'm saying that there are many suicides committed through out the week all a crossed the nation, why him? I mean Peter didn't make the front page. Other than his obituary, I don't recall him even making it in the paper at all. Once again, I don't care that this man made it on the front page, but am rather lamenting the fact that Peter did not.

I don't understand why one life is seemingly being valued as more important that another. We are all create equal, right? We are all made of the image of the same, living, God. Why, then, are some people mourned as a greater loss than others? Plus, don't you think the family of the man in the above article is hurting enough without seeing that on the front page? I read the article and it didn't seem to care that he had left people behind, but was more concerned with what it meant for the company. This was a man's life that he cut short because of who knows what. Screw the economy. Let the family grieve in peace!

I did not know Peter very well, but since his death life has become so very different. When I am with friends who were close to him I can still feel their hurt when he is mentioned. I can only imagine the fealings of grief and remorse that his family is still dealing with. My heart breaks for them and my friends who loved him. I wish their was something I could do for them to make it better, but there is nothing but prayer for me to offer them. So, I will give them that.

OK, enough of this emoness. catch you all later.

Invisible Rope

So, last night my cousins and I were playing in the street with this crazy cool ball Brandon had. it bounced like a billion times as high as a normal ball, and with less effort. it was AMAZING!!!! But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. While we were throwing the ball and Brandon had the brilliant idea to pull a prank on people driving by. He said he had seen on Youtube this prank called the Invisible Rope. Basically, you just act like you are playing tug of war acrossed the road. We had people stop and wait for us to drop the rope. It was fun. I know, it may seem really lame, but I love doing stuff like that, but I especially love doing that stuff with my crazy-ass cousins (and siblings). We really are a special breed... gotta love it.

Tetelestai

I went and saw Tetelestai tonight. I was fantastic. I had forgotten how much I love that show. OK, that might be a tiny bit of a lie because I don't think I will ever forget how much that show means to me. It changed me a lot. It changed me for the better. Before that show I was a quiet, insecure girl who had very little idea or passion about what she believed. After the two years of the show I was more comfortable with who I was and knew what I believed. It really was a turning point in my life.

That being said, I regret that time of my life. I regret that I didn't branch out more within the cast. I regret that I only got close to a handful of people, most of whom I don't talk to anymore. I regret not realizing that those years would fly by faster than I wanted them to.

I am so thankful to have had the chance to be in those casts with the people I was with. So many of them made an impact on my life and neither of us even realized it at the time. I see now how my experiences have helped to make me who I am today.

I hope that the kids in the cast realize that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. Those people they get dressed up in funny costumes and smear body makeup on every weekend will help make them who they are when they get to be as old as me. those memories, inside jokes, host family experiences and everything else that make Tetelestai so unique will stay with them for as long as they let it.

Well, it's official...

... I'm 20.

23.5 hours and counting down...

In just under 24 hours I am going to be 20 and am so not OK with that.

What have I done with my life?

-Other than the year I was four I've never lived outside of Ohio.
-I've never been farther West than Chicago, further South than the Boarder of North and South Carolina, or further East than DC.
-I've never gone on a mission trip (I know... a shock.)
-I was a Girl Scout from Kindergarten through graduation, but never really camped (the rest of my troop was scared of bugs or raccoons or something stupid like that)
-I've never fully learned an instrument, but have a defined my taste in music (It's eclectic if you were wondering)
-I've never dated.
-I've never gotten straight A's
-I've never seen many movies (if you knew how many times I've gotten by on pop-culture references you would all be appalled.)
-I've never been to another country.

But I'm not the sum of all the things I've never done, am I? I mean, I have:

-played Softball, Soccer, Basketball, and Volleyball
-helped raise my baby brother
-gotten my picture taken in front of the Wiener-Mobile (with my mother of course)
-been through 3 (soon to be 4) semesters of college
-been to 6 or 7 Relient K concerts.
-taught VBS for 3 years
-worked in a Subway
-worked concessions at softball games

I'm sure there are more things of note that I have done, but I don't remember any of them.

Anyways, I'm not entirely satisfied with my life up to now. I am not one to regret things that have happened to me, but I do regret things I never did. I realize that if I had done more things like take a road trip out west, or gone on a mission trip to another country I would be a totally different person. I know that people are made up of experiences they have had and the experiences they never had. I just hope I have more to report after then next 20 years, but the way I'm going it's going to take damn near a miracle to make that happen.

Well, in 23 hours and 30 minutes I'm going to kiss my teen years goodbye... I hate this part.

ok, minor geek out...

OMG, I just saw the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and it looks FANTASTIC!!!!!! I am so pumped for this movie. Words can't even describe. I literally have a countdown on my desk top. We're 127 days away!!!!


OK, geek moment done for now.

Guard your heart...

What is it about Christians that they think they don't need to explain what they are talking about? I mean, I've grown up in the church, and I'm not sure I understand what the "older, more mature Christians" who give me advice are saying to me half the time. For example, I'm talking to one of the ladies at church about a guy I like. Nine times out of ten they say that I need to be sure and "guard my heart..."

really? guard my heart?

What does that even mean???

Is it like guarding the basket from the other team when they have the ball?

I did a quick Biblegateway search for "guard your heart" and came up with 2 verses, one in Proverbs:

Above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

And one in Philippians:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

Only the second is at all helpful in understanding what people are saying. I didn't need to know why to guard my heart, clearly it would be painful if I didn't. I still need to know how.

The Philippians verse goes a little further in explaining what it means to "guard your heart". the thing is, it doesn't sound like something I can do but rather God has to do it.

This is all so frustrating. Really Christianese? Can't you have a dictionary, or step by step guide or something practical like that? I suppose not, because then there would bee no need to gnosis... damn gnostic roots.

OK, I'm gonna try and catch some z's before church. night!