23.5 hours and counting down...

In just under 24 hours I am going to be 20 and am so not OK with that.

What have I done with my life?

-Other than the year I was four I've never lived outside of Ohio.
-I've never been farther West than Chicago, further South than the Boarder of North and South Carolina, or further East than DC.
-I've never gone on a mission trip (I know... a shock.)
-I was a Girl Scout from Kindergarten through graduation, but never really camped (the rest of my troop was scared of bugs or raccoons or something stupid like that)
-I've never fully learned an instrument, but have a defined my taste in music (It's eclectic if you were wondering)
-I've never dated.
-I've never gotten straight A's
-I've never seen many movies (if you knew how many times I've gotten by on pop-culture references you would all be appalled.)
-I've never been to another country.

But I'm not the sum of all the things I've never done, am I? I mean, I have:

-played Softball, Soccer, Basketball, and Volleyball
-helped raise my baby brother
-gotten my picture taken in front of the Wiener-Mobile (with my mother of course)
-been through 3 (soon to be 4) semesters of college
-been to 6 or 7 Relient K concerts.
-taught VBS for 3 years
-worked in a Subway
-worked concessions at softball games

I'm sure there are more things of note that I have done, but I don't remember any of them.

Anyways, I'm not entirely satisfied with my life up to now. I am not one to regret things that have happened to me, but I do regret things I never did. I realize that if I had done more things like take a road trip out west, or gone on a mission trip to another country I would be a totally different person. I know that people are made up of experiences they have had and the experiences they never had. I just hope I have more to report after then next 20 years, but the way I'm going it's going to take damn near a miracle to make that happen.

Well, in 23 hours and 30 minutes I'm going to kiss my teen years goodbye... I hate this part.

ok, minor geek out...

OMG, I just saw the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and it looks FANTASTIC!!!!!! I am so pumped for this movie. Words can't even describe. I literally have a countdown on my desk top. We're 127 days away!!!!


OK, geek moment done for now.

Guard your heart...

What is it about Christians that they think they don't need to explain what they are talking about? I mean, I've grown up in the church, and I'm not sure I understand what the "older, more mature Christians" who give me advice are saying to me half the time. For example, I'm talking to one of the ladies at church about a guy I like. Nine times out of ten they say that I need to be sure and "guard my heart..."

really? guard my heart?

What does that even mean???

Is it like guarding the basket from the other team when they have the ball?

I did a quick Biblegateway search for "guard your heart" and came up with 2 verses, one in Proverbs:

Above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

And one in Philippians:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

Only the second is at all helpful in understanding what people are saying. I didn't need to know why to guard my heart, clearly it would be painful if I didn't. I still need to know how.

The Philippians verse goes a little further in explaining what it means to "guard your heart". the thing is, it doesn't sound like something I can do but rather God has to do it.

This is all so frustrating. Really Christianese? Can't you have a dictionary, or step by step guide or something practical like that? I suppose not, because then there would bee no need to gnosis... damn gnostic roots.

OK, I'm gonna try and catch some z's before church. night!

Day 24

Day 24: Do Not Enter

Days 22 and 23

Day 22: The Hollow

I actually took this picture on Sunday, but I love it so much, and I was sick yesterday, so I'm going to use it.



Day 23: Candle

Day 21

This journey is over halfway done... I'm gonna be sad when it's over. :(

Day 21: Window

light

Day 20: Light

I put this up to cover the ugly green plastic thing that is in front of the light above my desk. I was looking at it and noticed how the light comes through so differently in each little section. None of the sections are the same size, or shape or intensity of color. That got me thinking about God and how he doesn't come through us in the same way. Some people show God by listening, others by talking, and still others by coloring a picture and taping it to their neighbor's door. We may not know how God is shining through us, but other people see it and ultimately that is what matters, right?