maybe I'm getting a little lazy...

OK, here are the pics from the last couple days. sorry, I guess I've been getting kinda lazy with this.

Day 18: Tree

Day 19: Myers Hall

I know, it's practically a postcard, but I really liked how it looked today. My real camera died, so I had to take this with my cell. I think it turned out pretty well considering.

A House Divided

So, we have a little unrest within the CWS team. The guy I switch with for drumming each week is annoyed that we hadn't cleared the every other week schedule with him. Well, I was really really upset about this. I had asked him on multiple occasions if he was OK with me drumming and each time he had said that it was cool with him. Well, out of the blue he decided it wasn't OK with him, and that he had been mislead by Sarah and me. Like I said, I wasn't happy about this. I finally realized that I needed to pray about this issue and to see if God will change my heart so I can forgive him for accusing him wrongly. As I was thinking about this, it hit me... we're under attack. CWS hasn't had any problems yet since I've been here, and now that we are starting to grow and we can see God moving in our midst this happens. It's too coincidental. We are becoming a threat, so Satan tried to split us up. A house divided cannot stand. It's a simple fact that Satan knows and uses to try and break us up. But how exciting is that?!? CWS is enough of a threat for Satan to pay attention to us! I'm so happy. I mean, the situation sucks, but it's better than being complacent.

OK, it really is time for bed now. I hope tomorrow this excitement is still here. lol. night!

Block post

Sorry I've kinda slacked off. Here are the pics for days 13-17 (I had to skip the weekend due to a lack of camera so I'm a bit behind lol)

Rebirth

Worship
The music swirls around me
I close my eyes
Hands in the air

In my mind I see her,
A person decaying and shriveled
Her green-grey skin falling off
As she tries to move forward in the dark.

Then a light shines on her
And blood pours over her
As it flows the decay peels away
And out of death, birth

The birth of a new me.
Confident
Beautiful
Joyful

“This is who you were meant to be”
I can almost hear the words spoken
I love you and am proud.
This is who I see.

The song’s words echo around me
“What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus”
I finally see how true they are.

Balloons

Day 12: Balloons

bad day...

I am not having a good day. Nothing really bad has happened, I'm just kinda pissed at the world right now.

I am TERRIFIED of my spanish class. I have no idea what's going on in there. She teaches in all spanish, and I am so lost. I wasn't very good at that language in High School and I'm so much worse now. it sucks! I mean, I've already been in tears over this class and it's only the second week of classes. that shouldn't be happening. I just don't even know.

On top of that, I was really looking forward to my family coming today, but they aren't here yet, and I'm getting nervous that they are going to bail. they have a history of doing that. All I need right now is my mom. I know that's real lame, but she's like my best friend, and I'm still a kid in my mind.

Basically, I'm really homesick and am having a bad day which makes everything so much worse! Whatever, I'm just gonna go take a shower and hope that helps me get back to being myself.

Elevator

Day 11: Elevator

In Ferncliff there is this scary elevator that seems like it's straight out of a slasher film... this is the creaky grate that closes it.

and another...

Day 10: Weaver Chapel

It's so beautiful... but absolutly freezing. (though not as bad as the last few days)

Picture picture...

Day 9

Stairs in Woodlawn.

Pic of the Day

Day 8

It's -13 and school isn't canceled??? Thanks Witt... thanks.

Day 7

**Sorry I've missed a couple days here and there. between being sick and moving back in it's been a little tough trying to keep up with this. Now that I'm back I should be more consistent.**

Day 7: Wally

Poor Wally Witt... all covered in snow.

40 DPC: Day 6?

Sorry I haven't kept up all that well. Being sick wore me out enough that I basically lived on the couch for like 3 days. go figure.

Day 6: Basketball

This is my chance to show off my little brother. He is the one in the tan cargos. That basketball you see in the hoop just left his hand. He's gonna be the next (white) Michael Jordan. haha

Today

Well, I've been sick all day. I was supposed to drive back to campus this afternoon but that wasn't gonna happen. I just couldn't handle that today. This means I will be waking my ass up at 7:15 to drive to campus so I'm on time for my first classes of the semester. Yahoo...

On another note... you guys should check out my friend Joey. His music is AMAZING!!!! So, yeah. Check him out.

40 DPC: Day 5

Day 5: Pergola

Ice makes everything beautiful. I love how it covers normal everyday things like chairs and branches and makes them seem to shine. It's beautiful in the sun and even looks good at night. I don't know, I guess I like ice.

An Itch and a Scratch

So, my little brother has gotten me sick. He had this virus called the fifth disease (no worries, it sounds scarier than it is). It starts out like the flu and during this time is crazy contagious, a bit later your skin gets irritated and it looks kinda lacy on your body and on your face it looks like someone slapped you. Well, I've moved from achy joints and a fever to really itchy skin and it's driving me crazy! I mean, it's all on my arms and face. If it spreads the rate my brother's did my stomach and legs will go tomorrow evening. Oh well, thus is life I guess. Hopefully I won't look too leporous when it's time to go back to school. I wouldn't want to be cast out of the chapel or something. haha. Oh well. Gotta do some dishes so I can go try and catcg a few hours of sleep before Alex's Pinewood Derby in the morning. <3

40 DPC: Day 4

Day 4: Holy Family

So, I know Christmas is over, but I love this manger scene. My grandparents made it years ago. It's one of the many things that remind me of home. With the time coming for me to head back to school and while I'm incredibly excited to be able to live my own life again I know a week into it I'm going to miss home like crazy. I will just have to remember that it's not like I won't ever get to go back home, I just have to wait a bit.

40 DPC, Day 3

Day 3: Bruno

He kinda thinks he is a kid...

40 Day Photo Challenge: Day 2

40 DPC: Day 2

Linda's Window

My mom's co-worker died back in 2007 and so in memory of her they put this beautiful stained glass window in the office.

40 Day Challenge, Day 1

I was surfing the web earlier today and came a crossed a photoblog. The photographer had done a 40 Day Photography Challenge. This challenge includes taking a photo a day and posting it, and maybe writing a little blurb about it. so, yeah. That's what I'm hoping to do. One photo, everyday, and hopefully a blurb about it. So, here is today's...

Day 1: Frozen Apples

You gotta love how the sleet looks on these half rotten apples...

<3

ps: the inspiration for this challenge is found here.

Community

Something has been nagging at the back of my mind all break. I haven't know what it was, but it felt like an urgent problem to solve. It just hit me what it is... CWS. There is a problem with CWS and I haven't been able to figure it out for 3 semesters now. I think I may have just had a slight insight into what is holding us back from being a community like some of us want. We have no stability. Things are changing way too rapidly. Between graduation and study abroad there is just too high of a rate of change for us to really grow a community. We have four years at school and then we're gone.

The church is not a building, but rather the people in the community of faith. How, then, can we expect to have a great church when there is next to no community? Part of me wonders if that is why the campus ministries aren't doing as well as they had hoped. Well, all of them accept Young Life. It's like YL is always together. They know what is going on in eachother's lives all the time. If someone is having a rough time the community lift's them up. If something good happened to someone the community celebrates with them. They are always living with each other and are sharing everything. It's the closest example we have on campus that we have to the church described in Acts. "All the believers were together and had everything in common." (Acts 2:44)

It is sad, but when I look around CWS I know about half of the people who come. That half I know well. They are some of my closest friends. The others I know nothing about. I don't even know most of their names. It's very different from last year. I felt like I knew basically everyone last year. This year I don't even really know the team very well. No wonder I'm starting to not enjoy going. I love hanging out with Sarah Dennett and Alyssa Armstrong, but I can do that outside of the service. There is very little reason for me to be there. Most of the time I don't even really listen to the sermon. How horrible is that?

I guess I just need to stop griping and try and deal with it. I would love to be able to change it, but I don't know how. I know that I can always talk to the people I don't know, but that only helps me. I want to help make the whole service better. I want to help strengthen the whole community. But how? We started a facebook group... no one uses it. I (and a couple others) want to overhaul the service, but Pastor Rachel fears that people who like the service the way it is won't continue to come. I don't know.

I feel like all people focus on is how to get the word out to the rest of campus so other people will come. I'm starting to think that we should really focus on the people we have before we try and expand. If we can get the members of our "congregation" to honestly be part of a community and be excited about it then they will spread the word themselves. We will have very little advertising to do. Word of mouth is one of the best forms of advertising in my opinion. I put more weight on things my friends ask me to go to than on things I see on fliers.

Ok, my little rant is done. if you have any input feel free to comment.

<3

Some goals for the future

It's 3 am and here I am; I'm still awake. I really don't know why. Maybe it is the Dr. Pepper I had at 10, or maybe it's the fact that my heart feels heavy tonight. I don't know what it is that is making me feel this way, but I just feel down. This has been really unexpected though. I mean, I have been learning so much from God, I have felt so connected to Him. It's not like a camp mountain top high, and I most certainly am not reading my Bible anymore than usual. I don't know, I just was feeling... whole. I was loving being home with my family and not having to worry about classes. I don't know. I guess I haven't been feeling able to really be myself. I'm sure once I talk to mom about it I will be ok.

Onto another topic of sorts, I've been feeling really convicted recently on a couple things:

1.

I am incredibly blessed. I have so much and yet I feel like I am entitled to more stuff. I get mad that my car doesn’t work like it should and that it isn’t a nice, shiny new car. I want a nice house and clothes that are semi-cool. I have all of these things I want, but they do nothing to help the people around me. This greed, for lack of a better term, has blinded me to the many blessings that He has given me. I need to learn that my comfort is not necessarily guaranteed to me; only that God will be with me. Like Jesus said, “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” (Matthew 6:28-29) Why do I think God can’t take care of me? So, in a nutshell, I am convicted in my greedy ways of thought.

2.

I am not healthy. I am too out of shape. I’ll be honest, I’ve had to fight a lot of image issues seeing as I’ve always been on the larger side. Well, no more. I am going to get in shape. It will be an act of worship. I mean, Paul says it best in 1 Corinthians. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

3.

I need to get out of debt ASAP. I know, I’m in college and so debt just kinda happens. Well, I don’t think that is something that should be hanging over me. It may be unavoidable for a time, but eventually I will be able to work it off and get out of the hole I’m already in as a 20 year old. I’m going to start small; I’m going to pay off my credit card then try and not use it for things other than emergencies. I mean I’m just feeling really convicted in having debt because God tells us to not owe anyone anything. (Deut 15:6, Proverbs 22:7) Plus, person cannot serve two masters, God and Money, so as long as I have dept riding over me then I cannot fully serve God.


Thess may all seem like lofty goals, but I’m convinced that they are attainable. Even if I fail in some aspect as long as I follow God’s heart I should be fine. It can be read in Micah what the good way is. “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8) So, yeah. I guess that’s all for tonight. I really should go to sleep now. I’m exhausted. Night!

God Bless America? Hasn't He Done Enough?

So, I am sitting in my living room with my family and I start looking around. I see my dad in his Lazy-boy with headphones in watching Hogan’s Heroes on his laptop; my mom is playing Brain Age on my little sister’s Nintendo DS; Alex is playing Lego Indiana Jones on his DS that my parents got him for Christmas; Sarah is watching the football game and complaining because mom is using her DS when she wants to play her new Pirates of the Caribbean game. At this moment I sit here with my own headphones plugged into my own laptop with my cell phone sitting right next to me in case anyone felt like texting me at 11 pm. This scene is a very normal one for my low-middle class family.

Yesterday my mom, sister and I went to the store and bought a shit-ton of food, it was all finger food and appetizers. We threw a little New Year’s party for the five of us at the end of the night we still had a good amount of food left. I put it in plastic bags, but let’s be honest… who really wants day old mozzarella sticks? That food will either go bad or get thrown out. Either way it was wasted. This happens all the time with my family, but I’m sure something like it happens with other families in America. We can’t possibly be alone, and statistics say we aren’t. According to Timothy Jones Americans throw away 14% of the food we buy. We do this while there are “kids starving in Africa.” Yeah, ok, we really don’t need another guilt trip about world hunger, but no matter how often it is talked about nothing seems to be changing.

So, through all of this I’ve come to a harsh realization. I have no idea what Jesus is teaching. How can I? I’ve grown up in the equivalent of Ancient Rome. I am one of the oppressors that Jesus rants and rails against. It’s like all this time when He has been teaching on the necessity of loving your neighbors and praying for your persecutors He hasn’t been talking to me, but rather about me. I am part of an Empire. I am an Egyptian in the sense that I am an oppressor. I am the one demanding pyramids be built in the sweatshops in Asia. I am the one who expects more and more bricks be baked out in the coffee fields of Colombia. I am the problem.

So what can a member of the Empire do beyond know that they are working against what God wants and feel guilty about it? Well, for starters I can start to pray and ask God to align my heart with his. Once He has done that I can see clearly with His eyes instead of mine. I speculate that once we have become more in tune God will use me to help the oppressed. It is a lesson we have learned over and over in America. It is one thing for the oppressed to cry out in anguish over an injustice, but when a member of the oppressing party joins the cry people begin to take notice. Take, for instance, the Civil Rights movement. When you look at pictures of rallies you expect to see mass quantities of Black Americans holding picket signs, when your eye happens across a White American it makes you notice them, and in turn you look at the sign they are holding and then you see that they wanted equal rights for their American brothers and sisters. We may be an empire, but we don’t have to perpetuate the exile the rest of the world must feel they are in.

God hears the cries of the oppressed and he is on their side. As a Christian, it is my desire to be aligned with God. That means I am on the side of the oppressed. That is good in theory; the sticky part is how it looks. Right now, I’m basically failing at translating it to action. That’s ok, I’m not perfect. I’m going to continue to pray for God to break my heart in the way his breaks. I want him to present me with opportunities to be one of his faithful people.